The Worst Cold Call Opening Line Ever

My phone rings.

Me: “Hello?”

Cold Caller: Long pause from automated dialler… “Hello. Is this Eva Colbert?”

Me: “Yes it is.”

Cold Caller: “Hello Ms. Colbert. How are you today?”

SERIOUSLY?!

Ice Ice Baby 🎶

We’ve all been cold called.

But the worst cold calls are when the caller asks you ‘how you’re doing?’, without even introducing themselves first.

It feels like nails on a frozen chalkboard. Very uncomfortable.

Why is a complete stranger calling to ask how I’m doing?

The best response, is “I’m busy”. This icy reply usually catches them off-guard. 🥶

Follow it up with a quick “Thanks. Bye.” and you can usually be rid of the inconvenient caller in seconds. Without even giving them a chance to dive into their pitch.

ProTip: Don’t say this!

But if you’re that cold caller, the last thing you want is to be bounced into the cold.

Increase your chance of success, by never, ever, ever ever ever starting off your call with “How are you today?”

Make it personal. Do your research.

It can be a hard habit to break, but you’ll get much better results if you introduce yourself first, then just get straight to the point with something more like, “Hi. This so-and-so from XYZ Company. I’m calling because….”

Capture your prospect’s attention any way you like.

Just make sure not to dive straight into the unsanctioned “How are you today?” intro.

It’s doomed to fail.


For informative and light-hearted news and views on the world of real estate, follow overwrite.ai on Instagram and LinkedIn, and keep up-to-date with our weekly NewsBites blog.


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The Most Cringeworthy Real Estate “Dad Jokes”

Dad’s Rock! 👨‍🎤🤘.

And not just on Father’s Day.

Even their super-cringe jokes are lovable.

(Note to all – if you’re wincing but still need to hear the punchline, that’s a Dad Joke.)

So sit back, and enjoy some of our worst real estate dad jokes… 


DAD JOKE #1

“What room in your house are zombies most afraid of?

The living room.

DAD JOKE #2

My bread and butter listings are those with finished basements.
They’re my best cellars!


DAD JOKE #3

Did you hear about the only remaining unit in the apartment building?
It was last but not leased.

DAD JOKE #4

“Why does the mortgage broker always eat lunch by himself?

Because he is a loaner.

DAD JOKE #5

“What kind of insects do you WANT to have in your investment property?

Ten-ants.

DAD JOKE #6

“Hey Girl, is your name mortgage?

Because you’ve got my interest.

DAD JOKE #7

Why didn’t the hipster real estate agent show the oceanside mansion?

It was too current.


For informative and light-hearted news and views on the world of real estate, follow overwrite.ai on Instagram and LinkedIn, and keep up-to-date with our weekly NewsBites blog.


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HQ, Hybrid or Home: Flexible working and the new management mindset

Empowering employees to ‘own’ their work and be judged on outcomes rather than inputs could be the key to improving productivity and strengthening engagement in hybrid workforces.

Dan Price, the Seattle CEO known for cutting his own pay to fund increasing the minimum salary at his firm, Gravity Payments, to $70,000 (£56,000), revealed on Twitter last October that he’d asked his employees where they wanted to work. 

The poll he’d asked them to complete offered three options: HQ, hybrid or home. Only 7% wanted to return to the office full time, while 31% preferred hybrid. The remaining 62% wanted to work remotely. 

His response? “Sounds great. Do whatever you want… As a CEO, what do I care? If you get your work done, that’s all that matters.” 

Global Preference to WFM

The results of Price’s survey seem to be roughly in line with the preferences of the global workforce. The latest studies suggest that many employees, having had a taste of remote working, aren’t keen to return to HQ full time, even though this is what many employers would prefer. 

“Our data shows that employees expect to be offered hybrid working. They will leave, or not join an employer in the first place, if that’s not available,”

Nick Gallimore, director of innovation at business software provider Advanced. 

“This poses a major problem for organisations that want to retain key staff. They must think very carefully before, say, proposing pay cuts for remote employees. Such measures look as though they’ll prove deeply unpopular.” 

Remote working: Measuring it up

Such findings suggest that employers could be setting themselves up for a fall if they cling on to the command-and-control approach of office-based work. They also indicate that firms urgently need to find effective new ways to measure remote workers’ contributions. 

A research report published by EY after the UK’s first nationwide Covid lockdown was lifted in 2020, Physical Return and Work Reimagined Study, found that 49% of the 700-plus employers it had polled were already looking to do so.

“As businesses struggle with the great resignation and a battle for talent, shifting to focus on workforce output and satisfaction is a must,”

Nicola Downing, CEO of IT consultancy Ricoh Europe. 

“A more task-based approach empowers people to work flexibly and it shows that they’re trusted to get the job done. Organisations could then look at introducing certain ‘mutual’ hours where colleagues work at the same time in the same place to promote collaboration.” 

A more task-based approach empowers people to work flexibly

Empowering Employees

Good managers not only establish expectations and gives employees a voice in the process; they also help people to understand how their role expectations align with team and organisational objectives.

Price’s reaction to the findings of his poll also highlights the fact that many business leaders have come to accept that much of what a given employee is achieving isn’t apparent from looking at their time sheet. It’s made them realise why there was so much dissatisfaction with the way we worked before the pandemic. 

Engaging with hybrid working means that companies are becoming flatter and more dispersed, with a less visible workforce. Their focus when measuring performance therefore needs to shift to a task-based model of outcomes, such as customer satisfaction or time to market.

Understanding outputs and productivity

The best way for organisations to understand output is to apply high-quality performance management methods, according to Gallimore. He argues that one of the problems afflicting many firms in this respect is a lack of clarity on what outcomes are most important to them and then articulating how each person’s individual goals feed into achieving these. 

“If each employee has clear goals that define expectations of their output and are linked to organisational objectives, this will free the organisation to empower people in terms of where and when they work,” Gallimore says. “This way, measuring output becomes a lot easier. If your process is agile enough, you’ll find that it can really drive that sense of empowerment.”

This is key to the success of an outcome-focused hybrid working policy, he adds. Rather than dictating to people when they need to attend the office, employers can trust them to decide for themselves according to the goals they’re aiming to achieve. 

Gallimore cites the process of inducting new recruits as an example. Although firms’ experiences during the Covid lockdowns have shown that it can be done remotely, many people feel that things can be missed this way, so it’s often better to complete the process in person at HQ. Under an outcome-focused approach, this is a tangible task that can be left up to a manager and their team to choose where and when to do it, leaving other stakeholders in the organisation to judge how successful that decision was. 

Sheela Subramanian is co-founder and vice-president of the Future Forum, a research consortium backed by Slack Technologies.

She believes that:

“It’s critical that leaders move from activity to outcomes when measuring performance. The first step is being really clear with your team by defining what ‘good’ looks like. This will be a mix of quantitative and qualitative outcomes. There can be potential for ambiguity when one balances the two, so it’s important for leaders to share examples of success.” 

According to research by Gallup, almost half of all employees start their working day without a clear idea of what they’re expected to achieve. This is quite a troubling finding for an office-based workforce, but it becomes even more problematic in situations where employees are more widely distributed. 

This places even more responsibility on their managers to set clear objectives, according to Dr Adam Hickman, senior workplace strategist at Gallup. 

“Good managers not only establish expectations and gives employees a voice in the process; they also help people to understand how their role expectations align with team and organisational objectives,” he says. “When employees have this sense of purpose, their engagement soars, even when they’re working at a distance.” 

Dr Adam Hickman

Goals also need to be aligned with tangible outcomes to make it crystal-clear to everyone what progress looks like, Hickman adds. 

“Everyone likes to have something to show for their hard work, but this can be especially helpful for hybrid workers when you can’t always see the tasks they complete each day in person,” he says. 

Focusing on outcomes in this way should also help hybrid workers to organise their time better, as they’ll be able to quantify how much work a particular task is likely to require. This should then enable them to achieve a better work/life balance, which will again make for a happier workforce, according to Gallimore. 

Promoting a better work/life balance through hybrid work models

Empowering employees

“What people want from their employer has changed significantly over the past few years. In particular, there’s been a real increase in demand for a better work-life balance,” he says. “By helping employees to clearly understand the outputs that are important to the business, you can free up enough choice around those outputs – for example, where, when and how people prefer to work – to enable them to find the balance they’re looking for.” 

The opportunity to engage with hybrid working not only liberates employees; it frees organisations from the traditional office-hours metric of productivity, which was at best myopic and at worst a serious limiter to business growth and success. 


This column does not necessarily reflect the opinion of overwrite.ai and its owners.

Jon Axworthy writes for Raconteur 

This story has been published from an article on Monday 13th June 2022, without modifications to the text. Only the headline and has been changed.


For informative and light-hearted news and views on the world of real estate, follow overwrite.ai on Instagram and LinkedIn, and keep up-to-date with our weekly NewsBites blog.


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Revealed: 4 Reasons why DUBAI house prices can soften in 2022

Your cab driver’s got one. So does your mother-in-law. Your best friend too. Everyone has an opinion on Dubai house prices.

Here’s mine: I see Dubai house prices softening this year. And here are 4 signals that are flashing red.

#1: Quantitative Tightening

Over a decade of quantitative easing has finally come home to roost. Printing money ad infinitum led to excess liquidity, and plenty of free lunch. But we all know there’s no such thing.

At a recent event JPMorgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon, the world’s #1 banking CEO, said “Several aspects of quantitative easing programs “backfired,” including negative rates, which he called a “huge mistake.”

Central banks “don’t have a choice because there’s too much liquidity in the system,” Dimon said, referring to the tightening actions. “They have to remove some of the liquidity to stop the speculation, reduce home prices and stuff like that.”

#2: Interest Rate Increases

If by now you haven’t got the message that the Federal Reserve bank of the United States is increasing interest rates by at least another 2% this year, what rock have you been hiding under?

Anyone thinking the impact of this will simply be a few additional hundred dollars a month on a mortgage repayment, might want to reconsider; Car loans. Personal loans. And credit card debt. It all adds up.

The argument that prices are shielded by cash purchases in Dubai’s luxury residential real estate segment, isn’t good enough. The majority of middle-income homeowners have mortgage financed their property purchases.

How long can the average family contend with the increased costs of consumer goods, loans and fuel?

Expect a chunk of middle-income households to be tipped into debt burdens they can’t comfortably keep up with. To reduce their monthly obligations, they’ll sell properties.

That will introduce more supply to the market at a time when developers are in full swing, putting downward pressure on prices up and down the price spectrum.

#3: Replacement Costs

When the cost of buying a secondary market home is equal to or less than the cost of building the same home from the ground up; don’t think. Buy the home that’s ready to move into. Immediate utility. No-brainer.

China’s zero-covid tolerance policy. Inflated costs of labour and materials. Broken supply chains. All have compounded the cost of building, causing the price of new homes to increase. That’s lifted demand for ready homes. Values have risen.

What happens as those costs ease? US President Joe Biden’s plan to fix supply chain issues and reduce trade tariffs with China are designed to tackle inflation run amok. And with China finally reopening, raw material prices are going to drop.

Expect the cost of construction to ease, dragging down the value of ready homes.

#4: King Dollar and Prince Dirham

I’ve said it time and again.

As US interest rates increase, so too do the values of the US Dollar and the Dirham. Causing demand for Dubai housing to ease, and prices to soften.

The contention that many investors aren’t deterred by higher purchase costs, ignores fundamental economic rules of thumb. That investors behave rationally.

Bubbles Be Poppin’

Those who know me, know that I’ve had skin in the Dubai real estate game for the past 20 years. I believe in Dubai. Its resilience. Its leadership. The proactive nature of its residents. And it’s X-Factor. That Wild Card that continues to pull demand.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned about property investment, and Dubai in particular; you make your money when you buy. It’s all in the timing.

This week I closed my Dubai property portfolio. Sold my investment properties and equities.

Volatile, speculative asset classes like Cryptos and NFTs are already collapsing. Equity markets are being challenged. Real estate isn’t immune. It’s merely a matter of time.

I expect values to soften as we exit 2022, or by early 2023. But rather than a hard crash, we can look forward to a soft landing. I’ll be ready to dive back in when buy signals flash green again. Then I’ll buy a very specific property at Serenia Living on the Palm Island Jumeirah, where demand is inelastic.


An AI Implementation Strategist accredited by the prestigious MIT in Cambridge, Massachusetts, Ayman Alashkar also has a BSc in Mathematics from the world-renowned Queen Mary College, University of London, and an MSc in Real Estate Investment and Development from the University of Reading (UK). With +20 years’ experience working in real estate, banking and artificial intelligence, Ayman is the founder and CEO of overwrite.ai.


For informative and light-hearted news and views on the world of real estate, follow overwrite.ai on Instagram and LinkedIn, and keep up-to-date with our weekly NewsBites blog.


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World #1 Bank CEO says ‘brace yourself’ for an Economic Hurricane

JPMorgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon says he is preparing the biggest U.S. bank for an economic hurricane on the horizon and advised investors to do the same.

“You know, I said there’s storm clouds but I’m going to change it … it’s a hurricane,” 

Jamie Dimon – CEO JPMorgan Chase

Dimon, speaking at a financial conference in New York on Wednesday, says that while conditions seem “fine” at the moment, nobody knows if the hurricane is “a minor one or Superstorm Sandy”.

You’d better brace yourself,” Dimon told the roomful of analysts and investors. “JPMorgan is bracing ourselves and we’re going to be very conservative with our balance sheet.”

Stocks have been hammered as investors prepare for the end of the Federal Reserve’s cheap money era. Inflation at multidecade highs, exacerbated by supply chain disruptions and the coronavirus pandemic, has sown fear that the Fed will inadvertently tip the economy into recession as it combats price increases.  


KEY POINTS

  • There are two main factors that has Dimon worried: So-called quantitative tightening, or QT, is scheduled to begin this month and will ramp up to $95 billion a month in reduced bond holdings.
  • The other large factor worrying Dimon is the Ukraine war and its impact on commodities, including food and fuel. Oil could hit $150 or $175 a barrel, he said.
  • “You’d better brace yourself,” Dimon told the roomful of analysts and investors. “JPMorgan is bracing ourselves and we’re going to be very conservative with our balance sheet.”

While stocks bounced from a precipitous decline in recent weeks on optimism that inflation may be easing, Dimon seemed to dash hopes that the bottom is in.

“Right now, it’s kind of sunny, things are doing fine, everyone thinks the Fed can handle this,” Dimon said. “That hurricane is right out there, down the road, coming our way.”

There are two main factors that has Dimon worried: First, the Federal Reserve has signaled it will reverse its emergency bond-buying programs and shrink its balance sheet. The so-called quantitative tightening, or QT, is scheduled to begin this month and will ramp up to $95 billion a month in reduced bond holdings.

“We’ve never had QT like this, so you’re looking at something you could be writing history books on for 50 years,” Dimon said. Several aspects of quantitative easing programs “backfired,” including negative rates, which he called a “huge mistake.”

Central banks “don’t have a choice because there’s too much liquidity in the system,” Dimon said, referring to the tightening actions. “They have to remove some of the liquidity to stop the speculation, reduce home prices and stuff like that.”

The other large factor worrying Dimon is the Ukraine war and its impact on commodities, including food and fuel. Oil “almost has to go up in price” because of disruptions caused by the worst European conflict since World War II, potentially hitting $150 or $175 a barrel, Dimon said.

“Wars go bad, [they] go south in unintended consequences,” Dimon said. “We’re not taking the proper actions to protect Europe from what’s going to happen to oil in the short run.”

‘Huge Volatility’

Last week, during an investor conference for his bank, Dimon referred to his economic concerns as “storm clouds” that could dissipate. Presentations from Dimon and his deputies at the all-day meeting have bolstered JPMorgan shares by giving greater detail on investments and updated figures on interest revenue.

But his concerns seem to have deepened since then.

During the response to the 2008 financial crisis, central banks, commercial banks and foreign exchange trading firms were the three major buyers of U.S. Treasurys, Dimon said Wednesday. The players won’t have the capacity or desire to soak up as many U.S. bonds this time, he warned.

“That’s a huge change in the flow of funds around the world,” Dimon said. “I don’t know what the effect of that is, but I’m prepared for, at a minimum, huge volatility.”

One step the bank could take to gird itself for a coming hurricane is to push clients to move a type of lower-quality deposit called “non-operating deposits” into other places, such as money market funds, for example. That would help the bank manage its capital requirements under international rules, potentially helping it absorb a surge in bad loans.

“With all this capital uncertainty, we’re going to have to take actions,” Dimon said. “I kind of want to shed nonoperating deposits again, which we can do in size, to protect ourselves so we can serve clients in bad times. That’s the environment we’re dealing with.”

Banks having a “fortress balance sheet” and conservative accounting are the best protections for a downturn, Dimon said.

The bank has shied away from servicing a lot of federal FHA loans, he said, because delinquencies could hit 5% or 10% there, “which is guaranteed to happen in a downturn,” Dimon said.

‘Shame on you’

Dimon went on a tear during the hourlong session, barreling through topics like a “greatest hits” of his observations and gripes, often letting loose with profanity.

He lambasted investors for voting along with proxy advisors like Glass Lewis, which has disagreed with JPMorgan’s board on recent matters including executive compensation and whether the bank should separate the chairman and CEO roles in the future.

“Shame on you if that’s how you vote,” Dimon said. “Seriously, you should be embarrassed. Do your own homework.”

Companies are being driven out of public markets “because of litigation, regulation, press, cookie-cutter governance,” he added.  

Meanwhile, other critics often conflate stakeholder capitalism for being “woke,” Dimon said.  “I am a red-blooded, free market capitalist and I’m not woke,” he said.

“All we’re saying is when we wake up in the morning, we give a s— about serving customers, earning their respect, earning their repeat business.”


This column does not necessarily reflect the opinion of overwrite.ai and its owners.

Hugh Son writes for CNBC

This story has been published from an article on Wednesday 1st June 2022, without modifications to the text. Only the headline and has been changed.


For informative and light-hearted news and views on the world of real estate, follow overwrite.ai on Instagram and LinkedIn, and keep up-to-date with our weekly NewsBites blog.


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